Q: What happens to Composers when they die .
A: They decompose
atoms were talking, 1 atom said to the other “why are you crying?” the atom replied
“I’ve lost an electron”, the first atom said “are you sure?”, “yes” replied the other “I’m positive “
Two men jump out of a plane. One is holding a Budgerigar, the other is holding a Parrot and a shot gun. As they fall away from the plane the man holding the budgie lets it go.
A moment later the man with the Parrot lets go of his bird and takes a lame shot at it with the shotgun.
They both hit the floor.
In their dying moments, one turns to the other and says, “I don’t think much of this!
The other dying man turns to him and replies, “No, i don’t think much of this high altitude paratchuting .”
I drunk driver is stop for heading the wrong way on a one-way street.
The police officer asked the driver didn’t you see the arrows.
The drink responds, “Arrows, I couldn’t even see the Indians.
A man took his dog to the vet. “Sorry,” said the vet, “but your dog is dead”. Distraught man asks the vet for a second opinion the vet brings in the practice cat. Cat sniffs around — no response from dog. Vet says “sorry, but your dog is dead”. Man insists on a third opinion, so vet brings in the practice labrador. Practice dog sniffs around — no response from man’s dog. Reluctantly the man accepts his dog is dead. On the way out, the receptionist gives him a bill for £1000. “Good grief,what is this for? “Well, said the receptionist, “it’s £50 for the vet, £300 for the catscan and £600 for the lab report.
Q . what game do you play with a wombat?
A . wom
a man walks into a shop and says “i’d like to buy a wasp, please.”
the shopkeeper replies “i’m sorry, sir, we don’t sell wasps.”
“but,” says the man “you have one in the window.”
A white horse walked into a pub and ordered a lager. The landlord put!the drink on
the bar and said ‘We’ve got a whisky named after you’. The horse replied ‘what, Eric?’.
While robbing a home, a burglar hears someone say, “Jesus is watching you.” To his relief, he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something it had heard.
The burglar asks the parrot, “What’s your name?”
The parrot says, “Moses.”
The burglar goes on to ask, “What kind of a person names their parrot Moses?”
The parrot replies, “The same kind of person that names his Rottweiler Jesus.”
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb’s got to want to change.
Where can you find a Mozambique.
On a mozam-bird!
Q: What’s brown and sticky?!
A: A stick.
A man gets knocked down by a truck. A guy says to him are you comfortable.
He says I make a living!
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because if had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Q. Where do you keep a baby ape?
A. In an apricot.
What do you call a cow in a paddock with only two right legs.
Lean Beef .