An 8 – year old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard
She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?”
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the ‘birds and the bees’. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, “Why did you ask this question? ”
The little girl replied, “Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.”
Did you hear about the ice-cream man, he was found dead in his ice-cream van covered in chocolate sauce and hundreds-and-thousands? The police said that he had topped himself .
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
Two cannibals are sitting around eating a clown. One clown says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
A piece of straight, clean string goes into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves the drink, the string downs it and walks out. Ten minutes later a dirty, twisted, ragged piece of string walks into the bar. “Here – are you that piece of string that was here ten minutes ago?” asks the barman – “No” replies the string “I’m a frayed knot”
There are these two sausages sizzling in a frying pan. the one turns to the other and says “gees, it’s hot in here” and the second one turns around and goes “AAAAH , a talking sausage”.
Q – what did the grape say when the elephant trod on it?
A – Nothing, it just gave a little wine
A man walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he notices Van Gogh playing the fruit machine. He calls over, “Hey, Van Gogh , Want a drink?” and Van Gogh replies, “No thanks. I’ve got one ‘ere.”