Twenty Signs You are Unhappy (But Don’t Even Realize It)
Our entire culture suffers from what the shamans call “soul loss,” a loss of meaning, direction, vitality, mission, purpose, identity, and genuine connection; a deep unhappiness that most of us have come to consider as simply ordinary.
The soul is our source of absolute uniqueness, a place within that connects you not only to your own value and essence, but to the value and essence of every other living being. What makes soul loss so subtle and dangerous is that very few people have realized that it has happened. Most of us do not know that we have disconnected from our soul and have come to accept as normal a numbness and lack of meaning in our lives.
Because we all belong to this culture, we all suffer from soul loss. It’s epidemic and blinds us from seeing the potential for joy and wholeness in ordinary life. When you heal from soul loss, you see familiar things in new ways so you can increase your joy in what you already have.
Not sure if you’re suffering from soul loss? Here are 20 diagnostic signs that signal soul loss:
1. You feel like you’re not as good as other people.
2. You yearn to be of service, but you have no idea what you have to contribute and why it matters.
3. You find yourself striving in vain for an impossible-to-achieve standard of perfection.
4. Your fears keep you from living large.
5. You’re frequently worried that you’re not good enough, smart enough, thin enough, young enough, [fill in the blank] enough.
6. You feel like a victim of circumstances that are beyond your control.
7. You feel like your daily life is meaningless and task-driven.
8. You often feel helpless, hopeless, or pessimistic.
9. You protect your heart with steel walls.
10. You often feel you don’t really matter and your love doesn’t make a difference.
11. You’re always trying to fit in and belong, but rarely feel like you do.
12. You feel beaten down by the challenges you face in your life.
13. You suffer from a variety of vague, hard to treat physical symptoms, such as fatigue, chronic pain, weight gain or loss, insomnia, skin disorders, or gastrointestinal symptoms.
14. You struggle with being able to accept love and nurturing.
15. You feel depressed, anxious, or chronically worried.
16. You feel like you’re not appreciated enough.
17. You find yourself judging others.
18. You frequently numb yourself with alcohol, drugs, sex, television, or excessive busyness.
19. You feel disappointed with life.
20. You’ve forgotten how to dream.
How soul loss shows up at the doctor’s office
As a physician, I’ve had years of experience diagnosing soul loss in my patients, but Western medicine has no framework for this kind of diagnosis, and as doctors, we’re not taught to treat this kind of suffering, so we wind up mistreating it.
What people suffering from soul loss need is the deep medicine of reconnection with the soul, but in our culture, we tend to treat soul loss too superficially. We treat the chronic pain with pain medication. We treat the insomnia with sleeping pills. We treat the weight issues with diet and exercise. And most damagingly, we may label soul loss as mental illness, such as depression, and cover up the symptoms with psychiatric medications that may make things worse by slapping a Band-aid on a wound that’s not healing underneath the bandage.
The treatment you really need
Sometimes the soul needs space in order to heal, and this may require the courage to make some external changes in your life. Perhaps you need to switch careers in order to give the soul more room to breathe. Perhaps an unhealthy relationship is constricting the soul, and it’s time to get into therapy, set boundaries, or even end things. Perhaps you need to find more people to love or relocate to a place that helps your soul come alive.
Perhaps you need to give your soul permission to engage in more creative activities. Such eternal changes may be part of the prescription the inner doctor of your soul writes. But very often, those kinds of major life overhauls are NOT NECESSARY! Reconnecting to the soul allows you to find peace and happiness right where you are in ways that are much simpler and more profound than you might think. It can be astounding to discover that you’ve had what you needed all along and have been looking in all the wrong places. Perhaps all that is needed is to see the life you’re already living in a different way.
If you’re suffering from soul loss, what can you do about it? The first step to healing from soul loss is learning to reconnect to the guidance of your soul. In order to help you, Kitchen Table Wisdom author Rachel Naomi Remen and I are offering a free teleclass 10 Ways Your Soul
Guides You In Daily Life.
We’ll be teaching you one surprising vehicle the soul uses to speak to you loud and clear, how to interpret not only the green lights that affirm your path, but the red lights that redirect you, a way to ensure that the people you surround yourself with reflect back to you the voice of your soul and not the voice of your fear, a tool for interpreting how your soul speaks to you via the body, the one feeling that is always your soul talking, and more …
We hope you’ll join, but even if you don’t, remember: your soul is always with you. You are always being guided. You don’t need anything outside of you to heal from soul loss. You already have all that you need to heal yourself.