A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop.
“I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.” “Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Lets see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts
juggling the blazing torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!
Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching.
Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be
the best-dressed mother-of- the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact
same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. “Absolutely not! I look like a million
dollars in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said,
”Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress.
After all, it’s your special day.” A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped
for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could
wear it.” Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear… I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.”