A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”
How do you make a blonde forget something? You blow in her ear.
Brunette: “Do you see that dead bird?”
Blonde: [looks up] “OMG! Where is it?”
How does a blonde clean up the workplace? She wipes her mouth.
What’s blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? A blonde doing cartwheels.
Q: Why don’t blondes get coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Blonde: Today must be Sunday.
Blonde: Because the sun is up.
Two blondes were walking down the sidewalk. The first blonde said, “Hey, look at that dog with one eye,” so the second blonde covered up one eye.
Why did the blonde live in a circular shaped house?
Because her dog peed in the corners!.
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. “I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”
“But I always get it here,” says the blonde.
“Do you have the container it comes in?”
“Yes!” says the blonde, “I will go and get it.”
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.”
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, push up bottom.”