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Some Jokes – Forty Seven

Some Jokes

Blonde Jokes

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. “My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?” “Yes, officer, I’m just fine” the blonde chirped. “Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. “Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ….” “Uh, ma’am”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”

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Once there was a blonde talking to her friend then suddenly the line was cut. She noticed that she can’t talk to her friend so she resersitates her phone. Her neighbour saw her resersitating her phone and says ‘Why are you resersitating the phone?’ The blonde answers back “Because my phone dropped dead”

*

One day, a blonde was watching the news and the news anchor said that a serial killer was on the loose. So, she rushed into her kitchen, grabbed all her cereal and brought it down to the basement and said “Don’t worry, no one can kill you down here!”

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A blonde was speeding in a 25 mile per hour residental zone when a local police cruiser pulled her over. The female police officer who walked up to the car also happened to be a blonde. She asked for the blonde’s driver’s license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, “What does a driver’s license look like?’ Irritated, the blonde cop said, “Don’t be a smartass!, it’s got your picture on it!” The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, “Aha! This must be my driver’s license”, then handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, “You’re free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this.”

*

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, “I’m hanging myself because I’m tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!” Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, “I thought you were hanging yourself.” She said, “Yes, I am!” The husband replied, “Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?” She said, “I tried that, but I couldn’t breathe.”

*

A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”

About Mohammad Daeizadeh

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