A man driving on a highway is pulled over by a police officer. The officer
asks, “Did you know your wife and children fell out of your car a kilometre
A smile creeps onto the man’s face and he exclaims, “Thank God! I thought I
was going deaf!”
Q: where is a cemetery located in any town?
A: In the Dead center of it!
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to
the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator,
“My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, “Just take it easy. I can help. First,
let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line.
He says, “OK, now what?”
A man walks into a bar and says ouch!!!
baby polar bear asks its dad, ‘am I a black bear?’ ‘no’ says dad. ‘am I a grizzly
bear?’ ‘no, you’re a polar bear. go ask your mother, son.’ baby polar bear asks its
mum, ‘am I a brown bear, or a sun bear?’ ‘no’, says mum. ‘am I a black bear or a
koala bear?’ ‘no, you’re a polar bear. why do you ask, son?’ ‘because I am so
A newly ordained priest is nervous about hearing confessions and asks an older
priest to observe one of his sessions to give him some tips. After a few minutes of
listening, the old priest suggests that they have a word. “Iv’e got a few
suggestions,”he says. “Try folding your arms over your chest and rub your chin
with one hand.”The new priest tries this. “Very good,”
says his senior. “now try saying things like ‘I see’,’I understand’ and ‘Yes, go on.'”
The young priest practises these sayings, too.
“Well done,” says the older priest. “Don’t you think that’s better than slapping
your knee and saying, way ! what happened next?'”
Claire: Knock Knock
Neil: Who’s there?
Claire: An interrupting cow
Neil: An interrupt..