A guy goes to the Doctors and he says “Doctor, I’m really worried about my
brother, he thinks he’s a Hen!”
The Doctor says “well have you taken him to see a psychiatrist?”, and the guy
says “Don’t be stupid, we need the eggs!”
A group of Chess enthusiasts were kicked out of a hotel reception for discussing
their winning games. The manager can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open
A brain and a pair of jumpleads walks into a bar. The brain orders two pints from
the barman but the barman refuses to serve him. When asked why, the barman
replies ” Well you’re clearly out of your head, and your friend there looks as if
he’s about to start something”
The police arrested two men, one for drinking battery acid and the other for
eating fire crackers. They charged one and let the other one off.
A man went to a horse breeder and said, I want that horse. The breeder said that
horse aint looking so good, but the man still wanted to buy it, so he did. The next
day he came back with the horse and said, you sold me a blind horse, the breeder
replied I told you that horse aint looking so good
Two hikers were walking through the woods when they noticed a bear charging
towards them in the distance. The first hiker removed his trail boots and began
to lace up his running shoes. The second hiker laughed and said, “Why bother
changing out of your boots?
You can’t outrun a bear.” The first hiker replied, “I don’t have to outrun the bear,
I only have to outrun you.”
Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you do
criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and have their shoes.
A man on a business trip is staying in a high-‐rise hotel with a bar on the top
After checking in and seeing his room, he decides to go upstairs. There’s only one
other patron in the bar. The businessman orders a drink and then watches in
surprise as the other patron quickly eats an orange, chugs his beer, and jumps
out the window.
A minute later, the man returns. The businessman is shocked to see him again
eat an orange, chug his beer and then jump out the window.
When the man returns a third time, the businessman decides he can do this, too.
He eats an orange, chugs his beer, then jumps out the window to his death.
The bartender turns to the man and says, “You know, Superman, you’re a real
jerk when you’re drunk.”