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Some Jokes – Six

Some Jokes

A man goes into the doctor with a penguin on his head.

The doctor says “What can I do for you?” and the penguin says

“well doc, it started as this growth on my foot…”

*

A man goes to the doctor and says “Doctor, it hurts when I do this”, and raises

his arm . “Well, don’t do it then”, says the doctor.

*

Q: Did you hear about the Ice Cream Sales man that was found dead in his store

covered in chocolate sauce and syrup?

A: Police think he topped himself!

*

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

2 – one to hold the giraffe and one to fill the bathtub with brightly coloured

machine tools.

*

Three vampires are sitting at a bar. Bartender asks the first one what he wants. “I

think I’ll have a glass of blood.” “Okay, what’ll you have?” he asks the second

vampire. “That sounds good. I’ll have a glass of blood too.” “And what can I get

for you?” he asks the third  vampire. “I’ll have a glass of plasma” said the third

vampire. “Okay,” said the bartender, “That’s two bloods and a blood light, then.”

*

A polar bear walks into a bar and the barman says, “what would you like to

drink?”.

The polar bear hangs his head and sighs deeply and then sayss “I’ll have a pint of

bitter barman”.

The barman looks at the bear and says “why the big paws?”

*

What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do?

Stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

*

A termite walks into a cocktail lounge, and asks a customer, “Is the bartender here?”

*

A man goes to the vet about his dog’s fleas. The vet says “I’m sorry, I’ll have to

put this dog down”. The man is incredulous and asks why, and the vet says

“because he is far too heavy.”

*

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, the barman asks,”

Is this a joke?”

Down

About Mohammad Daeizadeh

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