There were two cows in a field. One said “moo”, the other one said “I was going
to say that!”
What did the landlord say as he threw Shakespeare out of his pub?
A three legged dog walks into a Saloon in the Wild West, the barman asks him
what he wants.
The dog replies “I’m looking for the man that shot my paw”
Two owls are playing in the final of the Owl Pool Championship. It comes down
to the last frame. One of the owls is just about to play his shot, when his wing
accidentally touches a ball.
“That’s two hits,” says the other owl.
“Two hits to who?” says the first.
An atom walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he’s seen his missing electron.
“Are you sure she’s missing”, asks the bartender.
“I’m positive”, replies the atom.
(this is definitely a joke for science-‐minded people only)
Patient : “Doctor I keep hearing “The green, green grass of home” in my head.
Doctor : “That’s called the Tom Jones Syndrome”
Patient : “Is it common ?”
Doctor : “It’s not unusual
Two aerials met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac ?
He used to lie awake at night wondering if there was a Dog !
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
What?s brown and sticky?