A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, “Does your dog bite”, the man replies “No my dog
doesn’t” The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off,”I thought you said your
dog didn’t bite” said the injured man.
“That is not my dog”, replied the other.
Q: What’s the difference between a shopping trolley and a University vice chancellor?
A: You fill them both up with as much food and alcohol you can, but it’s only the
shopping trolley that has a mind of its own.
Q. How do you catch a polar bear?
A. You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea, you kick it in the ice hole.
Why do Marxists like fruit infusions?
Because all proper tea is theft!
What was born to succeed?
A. budgie with a blunt beak.
Three budgies in a cage, one on the top perch, one on the middle and one on the bottom perch.
Which Budgie owns the cage?
The one on the bottom perch, the other two are on higher perches.
what do you call a fly with no wings?
What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs, and no body?
Q: Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
A: You should never press your luck
What’s ET short for?
Because he’s got little legs.